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You think about having kids, raising a family, sharing lots of romantic adventures together. That will only happen IF he/she likes you, IF you continue to like him/her, IF you decide to have a baby, etc. This does NOT mean that you should maintain relationships with other people “in case you broke up”. I’m talking about what you would do if you were completely alone.
There are just so many things that can change that particular possibility. All your planning has been focused on the two of you being together, so when the unexpected happens, you have no alternate plan! Say there were no people in the world, what would you do?
You have something he/she wants, and he/she has something you want (sex, companionship, etc.) As a result, the both of you benefit each other.
Over time, as the two of you trade more and more, you realize that it’ll be more efficient if you just stayed together. When you don’t really know yourself and don’t have much to offer in your relationship, that’s when you become “desparate”.
On the other hand, if you had a strong identity outside of the relationship, then you would simply return to the happy state you were in before you made the trades.
It’s also when the other person feel this exceeding neediness from you, which leads the the suspicion that you have much less to offer than what you’ll be getting.
If that is the case, then of course the relationship would feel like the center of the world to you, as you are deriving most of your identity from your partner.
That is the key to a healthy relationship actually, since even in a relationship, you’ll be alone some portion of the time.
A relationship is just an extension of the economic model.
That’s a common situation that causes many people a lot of distress.