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Lim was a trained lawyer and at some point, a human resources practitioner at a bank.
It was in these jobs that the idea for a professional dating service came about.
Lucy has bagged herself a date with a tall, dark, and handsome man. Lucy wonders how soon into a relationship she can start dropping hints. They meet on a Sunday afternoon in a pub near Victoria station. Lucy, who is wearing a dress, thinks perhaps Jules could have made a teensy bit more of an effort. If it seemed scary in the photos online it’s positively horrifying in real life. This is clearly a man whose hair is his proudest possession. Jules removes the hairband, shakes out his ponytail, and runs his fingers through his hair a couple of times before flicking it over his shoulders. Lucy’s train isn’t for another hour, and she needs to kill the time somehow, so she offers to get a second round in. “All the girls want to date that guy, but those guys are dicks and will mess you around. ” Lucy is bowled over by Jules’ sunny disposition and positive outlook on life. “Of course,” Jules continues, “if you don’t have kids, you don’t need to worry so much about destroying the planet.” “Well you sort of do,” Lucy points out. Lucy knows that when a guy asks this question, it means he’s all out of chat and she won’t be hearing from him again.
Maybe he’ll be so taken with her he’ll offer to cut it all off. He’s clearly very proud of the hair, constantly touching and stroking it, smoothing it all over one shoulder and then flicking it back behind him again. Lucy wonders if she should tell him what it is, or just leave him thinking she’s so down with the kids that she goes to secret music festivals he’s never heard of. She wonders if it makes her narrow-minded that she finds his constant hair twiddling infuriating and weird. “Do you know,” Jules continues, “there’s always one guy at any speed dating event that all the women want to see again. ” “Tall, good-looking,” says Lucy, “slim, good hair, well-dressed…” “And white,” concludes Jules. By trying not to destroy the planet all we are really trying to do is prevent suffering. But people are suffering all over the world right now anyway, so what’s the difference? When she gets back, Jules asks her how she’s been finding the dating world. Didn’t he just say he was happy dating older women, and was fed up with women being gold diggers? The hair flipping was bad enough, but if Jules is looking for a girl who wants a Sugar Daddy, then he’s definitely not the right man for her.
So I thought they would appreciate a matchmaking agency that catered to their needs and helped find them matches more efficiently.
DEALING WITH STIGMABharati: When you started the business, while you managed to get investors with enough foresight to put in about S0,000, you had challenges that really showed there was a stigma attached to professional matchmaking services.
So when we first came out, we went with a very copy-heavy ad. As a result, the people who actually bothered reading the whole copy were the type of people who we were trying to attract.
Of course, thinks Lucy, there’s always a fucking catch. And Lucy hates long hair on men almost as much as she hates beards. Normally Lucy would run a mile from the sort of wanker who would still choose to have his hair long after the age of about twelve. Is he some kind of Peter Pan clinging onto his youth? Though I did go to the Hay Festival last year, but I guess that’s not quite the same.” She laughs uncomfortably. “Though you know, it might be because not that many girls like guys with long hair.” “Yeah, I know,” Jules sighs. ” “I don’t want to date someone so narrow minded,” says Jules. “There are plenty of women with good jobs and their own flats who don’t need a man to support them.” “I know, you’re right,” says Jules. So last year I joined a Sugar Daddy website.” WTAF? But there are also lots of well-off girls on there too, girls who specifically want to find rich men who won’t just want them for their money.
Lucy is on her way back to Brighton for the working week and has her suitcase in tow. But far worse than that is that the t-shirt is tucked in. Still, he has a friendly smile and a nice face, and although Lucy isn’t immediately attracted to him, she’s not instantly repelled either. At least two feet long, dark and shiny but also thin and a little straggly, it’s hair that wouldn’t look out of place on a 14-year-old Goth girl or a member of a Iron Maiden tribute act. In that moment Lucy realises she has zero chance of ever persuading him to cut it. Lucy feels like she should probably comment at this stage. “So do you have long hair because you’re in a band, or did you join a band because you have long hair? “I’ve always had long hair.” “You know we could never live together,” Lucy warns. When she comes back, Jules is keen to tell her about all the different businesses he runs. Because they can.” Lucy knows this, and tells him so. To someone else.” Lucy thinks this sounds like it might have been a slightly dysfunctional relationship.
Jules has arrived before her, and is sitting in a brown leather wingbacked chair by an empty fireplace. He is as tall as promised, and slim, and looks just like his photos. On second thoughts, he’s bought her a drink, so she’d better stay. “What with my long hair, and yours, our drains would be forever getting blocked! Jules continues, “Those guys always want to date much younger women, and they can. The last woman I dated was 47.” Lucy admits to being a little surprised by this information. “I’m sure it’s fine to date much older women,” she says, “but what if you want kids?
I was supposed to just do a short set but it went so well I ended up playing all night, and they liked it so much they asked me to come back.
I’d never done it before, but I said yes, and then spent a week learning how.
She went “On the Record” with Bharati Jagdish about low marriage and high divorce rates in Singapore, making her own marriage work and how the dating industry has evolved.